My dog is so dumb, I am ready to just open the door and let him go. No kidding. So Jay was cleaning out the food scrap bin that has been sitting in the back yard for God knows how long because it is my turn to clean it out and really, I just don't fucking care, and I forgot about it, and I batted my eyes and told him I loved him, and maybe I threatened him a little, long story short, he went out to clean the thing. Apparently, some meat was in there and it had gone bad, like bad bad. And even though Jay poured dish soap over it, and even though he told our 6 year old son to shut the back door, which he didn't do, Charlie ate all the rancid food that was in the food scrap bin. The rancid food that has been sitting in the food scrap bin during the hottest fucking summer ever. So Jay walks into the kitchen and notices someone has actually shut the door but shut the dog outside, and the dogs whole face is brown with all the rancid crap. Of course, Jay points out that he is of course my dog, and I just look at the dog and look at Jay and say,
"Put him down, it seems fucking easier and I just can't deal with this shit right now"
but then miracles upon miracles happen and what should I hear, "When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell", oh my glorious ring tone! So I run and take it, and I have to take it because it's a phone call regarding soccer, which I am a board member for. So I talk and talk, while my husband so nicely washes the dumb dog, and cuts off his beard, and sends me to Petco to buy out their Greenies, which our dog won't eat, and doggie cologne, which he now runs from whenever I pick it up.
Luckily, he stayed with my mom that night because I could not have dealt with him. Hell, I can barely deal with myself.
I love the dog, I really do. But in the list of importance, he is dead last. First comes the kids, then Jay, then the dog. Where do I fit in? I'm a mom, sillies, I don't matter. Only men add themselves to their "Important" lists.