I had to post this, and it may take me forever, too. But it is that funny.
Yesterday, on my way to a pre-op appointment in downtown Seattle, I was waiting in line at the on ramp. In front of me was a truck with a bunch of stickers on it. For lack of anything to do, I started reading them. They said this:
Semper Fi
Imagine Peace
Go Marines!
On the bumper was this:
John Lennon
I immediately called Jay and started yelling at him that this idiot was a moron obviously out to ruin my day. Those bumper stickers just do not go together at all, for fucks sake. Right?! Right. I'm pretty fucking positive that the Marines are not over there handy out goody baskets and flowers to the poor people of Iraq. The military is not for peace, in my mind. They are for blowing shit up. And John Lennon was for peaceful matters.
I know I am fucked up crazy right now, and you all probably think I am all for blowing stuff up, but for reals, I am totally against the military, I do not support wars (although I support our poor men and woman that are stuck there). I think there are better ways of doing things that what we are doing.
So as I'm yelling/talking to Jay and say that I wonder if I can say I'm channeling John Lennon and try and blow up her car in a fit of rage, Jay says, all calmly, mind you, "Honey, No killing anyone this morning. This appointment is important." And then the light turned green and I got on the freeway, flipped her off when I passed her and made it to the doctors office with plenty of time to spare.
And since this post took 45 minutes to type, one handed most of the time, and because I forgot what some words were, I am now going on hiatus.
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3 comments:
I can agree with you sweetie. But blowing up her car . . .hmmmm. Maybe she changed her mind after putting on the sticker. . couldn't get them off. . .added John...maybe. But I will agree with you just so you don't blow up my house. Hope all the people are safe that are staying in the hotel as you two tonight. The kids are loving it here. I even let Evan bite his nails. I made him wash his hand first. Mommy is not here. . .bite away. (for those of you who have been following Christie's hormonal outrages you know what I am talking about)
Followed you from Crystal's...
Two thoughts:
1) They have multiple personalities.
2) The guy's a Jarhead and married a hippie, and ever since, they've been fighting over bumper sticker space on their truck.
And lastly,
C) The marines that I have met are not the waxiest crayolas in the box, if you get my drift (otherwise the Air Force would've taken them), so it's possible that those two seemingly mutually contradictory statements make perfect sense to them.
And I have been waiting for a hybrid with solar-powered laser beams on the front to be able to disintegrate drivers that piss me off for fucking ever.
And I will now be using "cockshiner" as often as possible.
Hey you are just like what i want to be. Carefree.
Who cares about all this things?
RITA PIT
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