Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Some things you should know......

There are a few things people that know me, know. It's is just common sense that they know this because I have been like this since, well, forever. And now you can know it, too. Just in case we ever meet in real life, you won't be all surprised by certain facts.

  • I hate milk. I think it is disgusting and gross. I have not consumed a glass of plain milk since I was 3 years old. I can still remember the last glass I drank and remember thinking "I really don't like this" and deciding to never ever drink it again. And I haven't. Now, I do like me some good chocolate milk and I do put it in my cereal, but I have to drain the milk off before I'll take a bite. I know, I know, crazy. But that is just me.
  • Guns are not allowed in my home, around me, near me. My kids aren't allowed to be in homes that have guns. My divorce papers say my ex-husband isn't allowed to own guns while our son is under the age of 18. This is due to the fact I had a loaded shotgun put in my face when I was 17 by a drunk lunatic. Hey, at least I have a reason, right?
  • Pillows on my bed must face a certain way. The opening must be going towards the outside of the bed. Period. I don't even have a reason, I just need it to be that way.
  • I still sleep with my security blanket. Her name is Wooby and I came home from the hospital wrapped in it. My Nanna knitted it for me. I love my Wooby and my Wooby loves me.
  • I check my e-mail at least 10 times a day, everyday. Except when we are on vacation. I have only been doing this since we have had cable internet. When we had dial up, back in the dark ages, I would only check it once a week, if that. Or I would wait until I got to work. Dial up is retarded.
  • If I eat Skittles, I have to follow a routine. There is no throwing them all in my mouth all willy-nilly. I must first empty the whole bag. Then separate them into color. Then I line the colors into groups of 2. Any odds are then given to Jay or the kids. Then I will eat them 2 by 2, starting with my least favorite color. It usually goes yellow, green, orange, red, purple. Jay likes to fuck with me and steal just one from my nicely sorted piles. I must then get rid of the offending odd color immediately. He says I have OCD, I say fuck off. It's just our routine.
  • I only fold Jay's underwear into nice squares, but I just throw mine and the kids underwear in the drawers. I don't know why either. It's not like one day I decided Jay's were more important. I just always have.
  • I am a horrible friend maintainer. Melissa is the only person I have always managed to stay close to since becoming friend soul mates in 6th grade. Everyone else just falls to the wayside. I have picked up friendships after years of not talking, like with Amy, but I just suck at keeping up with people. And it's not like I get mad at the people and we lose touch on bad terms, I just get busy and forget to call. I am trying hard to keep up with my friends in Portland, and since I go down there often to see Mason, it gives me more opportunity to see my friends, too.
  • I cannot stand being touched in my sleep. I can snuggle for awhile, but then I must move to my own space and be left alone. Jay doesn't like this, but I do, therefore, I win.
  • Beer is gross. I drank enough of it in high school because it was free and flowed freely from a keg. I drank it warm, I drank it cold, I didn't care because it got me drunk. Now that I am legally allowed to purchase whatever the hell I want, I will never drink it again. Ever. Give me hard liquor any day. People keep telling me to try this kind or that, that this one tastes like pears or like chocolate; but you know what? It all tastes like beer. Period.
  • I hate feet. All feet. Except my kids feet. I will kiss their feet no matter how stinky they are. Because they are my kids feet. But I can't stand anyone else's feet. I won't touch my husbands feet, either. Gag. You shouldn't take it personally, I just don't want to be near anyones feet.
  • I'm not that proud of an American. I find it hard to take pride in my country when we have men and women stationed all over the world, fighting wars I believe we have no business being in. It's not our fight. I look at it as us being the bully's on the playground with the "give me what I want or I'll kick your ass" mentality. And I just think that is wrong. I pray for the men and women that are over seas. I hope they return safely to their families. We have wasted billions of dollars on the military, but our soldiers don't even have the proper equipment. Meanwhile, our kids are going through school without updated text books or enough teachers. They are cutting school days because the government has has cut educational funding. It is just wrong. But, again, this is just my opinion.
  • I always Always ALWAYS lock my doors. If I go pee, I lock the bathroom door. The minute I enter the home, I lock the door. Immediately. I not only lock the main door, I lock the screen door as well. My mom grew up in Seattle, and she does the same thing. Even when we moved to Chehalis, she was just in the routine of locking the door and that is what I grew up with. It took a long time to train Jay, who grew up in Texas in the middle of nowhere, to lock the doors. They never locked their doors when he was growing up. But I will flip out if I find a door unlocked. So if you ever come over, you had better lock the fucking door. Got it.
  • I think black licorice is one of the grossest flavors in the world. Ugh. The mere smell of it makes me nauseous.
  • I don't like Grateful Dead music. At All. I personally think they sucked. I also don't like the Rolling Stones. I think they sucked just as bad as Grateful Dead.
  • I like heavy metal.
  • I refuse to wear makeup from a grocery store. I either get it at a department store or from the maker's store. Right now, I'm using Bare Escentuals, and before that it was only Clinique. Someone once stole all my makeup and my ex-husband had to drive me to get more. He was not impressed when I threw a huge fit when he pulled into Safeway and I told him to get his ass on the freeway and take me to Nordstroms. He was absolutely not happy when we left Nordstroms with $300 worth of makeup. I, however, was giddy over my free gift bag of samples that I only had to spend $100 to get. Men don't understand the need for good makeup. If you only have to apply it once a day it will last longer.
  • I can't stand watching sports. I once parental blocked all the sports channels because I was sick of golf being on our t.v., my ex-husband was pissed. I took great joy in how mad he was.
So there you have it. All the little things that make Christie, Christie. The good, the bad, and the just pure mean. You love me, though. Admit it.


captain corky said...

I do love you and right now I pouring a drink in your honor, some Budweiser mixed with 100% Whole Milk. I call it a Christie. ;)

Yoda said...

And *I* thought I had issues.

I won't sleep on my fitted sheets. I have a feeling if my sheets aren't exactly aligned with my comforter, there will be a kink in the space time curve!

Amanda said...

LMAO! Your "about me" was so much funnier than my "about me". I too can not stand to be touched when I am trying to fall asleep or cuddled in the middle of the night. I will fall of the bed before I get that close to him. lol :-) Annnnnd one other about me.. if there are a bunch of empty stalls in the bathroom and someone goes in the one right next to me I get PISSED! Seriously why would they do that? Spread out people!

Christie said...

Corkster: That made me want to vomit. Thanks.

Yoda: A man after my own heart. J is lucky to have you.

Amanda: Amen, sister! I also don't like when I go out of my way to park far away from everyone else and some douchebag still parks right next to me. Why? Why would anyone do that other than to be a douchebg?

Guilty Secret said...

Before I just liked you, but after reading this post, I actually love you.

You gave me new ideas for vaguely OCD habits. I'm going to get weird about my pillows too now.

Amanda said...

OHHHHH I said that outloud when I saw Charlie's page. Yay for indulging the dog lover in you! :-)
F U to the people that like to be next to us for no reason. WTF?

random moments said...

*gasp* I DO love you! But, I'm wondering... are you adopted? Cuz you just might be my twin, in a non-identical sort of way.

Never had a Wooby tho, but think that's just about the cutest thing ever. Milk is gross, but I can do the beer thing. I'm also with you on the pillow thing too and I also am a HORRIBLE friend maintainer. We should be friends. We'd have this great understanding and would never have to call each other!

Um, how you like the novel I just left you? *blush*

Crankyputz said...

we have a lot in common...hating milk and skittles obsessions....

Patti said...

Came by via the Birdman and must say I laughed out loud at the Skittles sorting! I do the exact same thing with Skittles, M&Ms, Smarties, and pretty much anything that comes in colors - have to separate and eat in twos. Love that I'm not the only one!!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Ooooh, we have a lot in common. I don't like Skittles, but I arrange all my M&Ms just so, and there is an order to the eating. (All the badly printed/mishapen ones MUST go before anything else.)

Here's wishing you a footless, licorice-less, T.V.-golfless, beerless evening.

Brooke said...

Ok, the Skittles thing made me want to share. This is how I eat M&Ms...

I take a handful and count out 26 M's because 26=100 calories and I am on WW which means that equals two points. I put them into a coffee cup, get out my blow dryer and hit them with high heat for about 30 seconds or until the insides are completely melted and the shells are just about to crack. Then I eat them one at a time, for each one I find where the shell has cracked and pull the M apart at the crack, revealing the melted interior and then I suck on each half until all the chocolate is gone and I can eat the shell empty.

I do this every night.

Tell your husband that one and then let him call you weird!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I suggest you spackle on a few extra coats of that Nordstrom makeup from now on. You might just hang on to a friend or two.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Blogger is being a pain. I wrote a comment and don't know if it went through. Piece of stupid blogger shit.

Worry not. It was a lame comment anyway.

Marcia said...

a) I live in the middle of NYC, and I don't lock my door.

b) you should go to Sephora.

Beth said...

Yes I freakin LOVE you cuz I agree with SO many of these...strange...things. The pillows, the music, locking the doors, all kinds of stuff...

are we related?

Christie said...

Guilty: I don't consider it OCD issues as much as getting it MY way.

Amanda: He is adorable, isn't he!

Random: We can be the best of friends that have never met and only communicate through blogger and gmail. Sounds like a plan to me.

Cranky: I seem to have the milk and Skittle thing in common with a lot of people.

Patti: I am gloriously happy that I am not the only freak out there. My husband thinks the Skittle thing is one of the most stupid things ever.

Christie said...

Princess: I don't mind if my M&M's are messed up because they all taste the same. I don't like mixing flavors too much. I'm the girl that won't let different foods touch on her plate.

Brooke: I told him and he just laughed and thanked goodness you weren't his wife.

Dyck: With enemies like you, who needs friends, right?

Mishy: No comment is a bad comment.

Marcia: A)remind me to never visit you in New York B)I love Sephora and Ulta. But they are still more expensive than the grocery store. Jay detests girly places like that all most as my ex-husband did.

Beth: Maybe you're my long lost sister. I always wanted a sister.

Crystal said...

i also have the skittles thing (but not as bad! even though i have to chew equal numbers on each side of my mouth) AND the pillow thing.