Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Today I'm gonna terrorize myself

It seems to be "The Week In Pictures" on this here blog, I guess. I decided today I would post some nice, lovely pictures of yours truly. Some old ones, of course, because I don't get my picture taken anymore (unless I'm drunk).

Recently, my Aunt Sharon sent me a huge stack of pictures that were in my grandparents photo albums. Since my brothers are younger and could give 2 shits about family pictures, I was entrusted with all of them until they were deemed responsible enough to have some. It could be awhile, folks.

Are you ready for a trip down my memory lane? Ready or we go!

I wore this damn costume everywhere! And I say costume, but I mean Underoos, folks. My cousin, Micah, had Superman underoos and when we got together, we were fucking AWESOME! My grandma even made us capes. Mine had a W on the back, Micah's, of course, had a S. I think I was about 4 in this picture. You're a little jealous, aren't you. I know my hubby wishes I had an outfit like this. Could make for some fun times, I'm sure. My daughter is now into Wonder Woman, and I really wish I could find her this outfit. I even looked on EBay, but nothing.

Obviously, at 6, I had no idea that horizontal stripes on top made you look fat, and verticals on the bottom made me taller. But why together? Anyway, I loved this outfit! Really, I did. And don't you dig the knee high socks. And the shoes, come on, every girl in the early 80's had them. They were pretty comfy considering they were basically a slab of heavy wood with a leather strap over your toe. And they made for awesome weapons. I came close to breaking one of my brothers fingers once with them. But, shhhh, my mom doesn't know that. I think I blamed it on a door or the other brother. The hair, what is going on with it? Can I remind you, before you pass judgment on my mom, that I have NATURALLY CURLY HAIR and it cannot be controlled.

Crimped hair. Check. Off the shoulder sweatshirt in shitacious pink. Check. Synthesizer. Check. It's the 80's, people. Give me a break. And I was about 10 in this picture. Hence the "What the fuck are you looking at" look. We are at some family gathering, and I was forced to go, so I stayed to myself. And the parents tortured me for it by taking my picture.

See the date? 8-9-93. I was a soon to be junior in high school, and just finished with tennis practice. That is my oldest friend, Melissa, and her car, Skynard. Yes, we named our cars. Mine was a silver Toyota Tercel named Silver Bullet, but I preferred Bullet for short. I look at these now and think that I was skinny, but then I thought I was a lard ass and was so ashamed of my body. I would trade my Size D's to have that body back again. I would. Jay would fight me on that, but I would. If you click on the picture, you will see that Melissa's shirt says "Bearcat Tennis" and mine says "Huskies W". I grew up in Chehalis (Shithalis is the preferred name to those who actually got the hell outta there) Washington, and we were the Bearcats. I don't even think that is a real animal. I can still smell the school smell and remember parts of "On Chehalis". I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there, either. I detest cowboy attire, and it was all over that school. Plus, I don't think hunting before school and bringing your kill in your truck to show off is appropriate. And I don't think leaving your hunting rifle in the gun rack is entirely legal. But then neither was drinking on school property, and I had no problem with that.

And here is me between my brothers after their graduation. Joshua is on my right, Jason on my left. They are mirror image identical twins, which is not very common. Anyway, I am 22 in this picture, and I can tell, cause that is my son, Mason, in the background, and I was already married to my starter husband. I looked so young. But then, I had 2 less children and still had a life that included non-parents to talk to. I had a pretty good, but boring, job working for the state government in the Dept. of Financial Institutions, Securities Division as a data analyst. I made great money and had awesome benefits. Rock on for me.

And I will leave you with a pretty current picture of me with my rugrats. Mason is giving me the bunny ears because he is 8 and that is funny to 8 year olds. Evan is looking at Kenzie like "What the fuck is your problem" and playing with action figures he stole from Mason (he figured that out after the picture was taken and WW III took place soon after), and Kenzie is crying because that is just what she does sometimes. She's 3, give the poor girl a break. I think she wanted Daddy or a cookie. They are both held on the same level.

I promise, no more family pictures this week. Well, I kinda promise. Kenzie is having a play date with her beloved tomorrow, so I may get a funny enough picture to post, and then I will break my promise. Cause a funny picture is a good enough reason to break a promise.


-Papa said...

*What's wrong with family pics? Don't be haytin' the family pics.
*Your twin brutha's look like you're about to Pimp both of them out.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

You kinda look like Stephanie Tanner from Full house in the photo of you playing the keyboard! Ahhh, the 80's. An amazing decade.

I have photos of myself in stirrup pants with oversized t-shirts that I would tie in a knot over my one hip. Yipes!

Your kids are very cute.

Michelle said...

Omg, I am rolling at "shitacious pink" That has to be the phrase of the day.

Great blog! I look forward to reading more once I lock the children in the closet...I mean put the children to bed :-)

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Damn, you were a hot piece of ass when you were a kid! I would have gladly done you AND your equally hot friend in the back seat of that shitbox Tercel. Too bad you let yourself go to hell like that.

captain corky said...

I still where my Captain Kirk Underoos, but I do admit that they're a little tight these days.

Cool pics.

Christie said...

Papa- If only I could. They are huge playas.

Mishy: Didn't Stephanie Tanner turn out to be a chemi head? Gross! I used to love me some stirrup pants. I had them in every color. I was totally hot! Oh, and my kids are beautiful, aren't they.

Michelle: I really, really don't like pink. My aunt bought me the pink outfit, so I had to wear it so she could see it.

Dyck: Oh, you made my heart go all a flutter. I was a sexy bitch back then, huh.

Corky: Don't they sell Captain Kirk underoos at the Trekkie conventions? You'd think with all the Star Trek fans, they would be out there somewhere.

Jenny! said...

I love pictures! You are a foxy lady! Your brothers are hot...are they single?

Christie said...

Jenny: Yes, they are single. They only have 2 requirements when looking for a new lady to screw over:

1. Big boobs...the bigger the better

2. Dumb as a rock...the dumber you are, the quicker they will date you.

The fact that you can write a whole sentence obviously shows you are not a total idiot, and therefore are way too smart for them.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Well, Jodie Sweetin fell into some deep lovin' with meth, but Stephanie Tanner didn't. I like to think that she went to college, graduated and got a middle management job where she annoys the crap out of her co-workers by still using the phrase "HOW RUDE!". But even if she annoys them, they know Danny, Joey and Uncle Jesse raised her well and she's a good kid. Even if she did back Joey's fully restored vintage red convertable into the kitchen and then ran away because she thought no one would love her anymore.

minijonb said...

i love old pix like this! escpecially the high school shots. and i started naming cars a few years ago. i now drive Betty all over the place... Veronica will be the name of my next car =:-)

Christie said...

Mishy: I am intrigued with you active imagination. You should write a book and tell your made up stories of your blog friends. I would totally read it!

minijonb: I never had the heart to name another car. I do baby our minivan, but only because I'm scared she is going to crap out on me any minute. I talk to her and tell her she is pretty so that she doesn't leave me and the kids stranded on the side of the freeway.

Yeah Him said...

Old pictures are awesome to go through! I scanned through all of my family's old stuff, and hopefully soon, everything will be straight with my photo website to get them up and published again.

Enjoy going through yours and have a great weekend

Ashley said...

I had those same Underoos. They rocked!!!!! My brother had Spiderman. We were quite the combo. Sometimes, I really miss the 80s.

Hopped over from Blog This!

Christie said...

I also had scooby doo underoos, and the top was like a bra. I loved that thing. But that was before I knew bras sucked. But the 80's totally rocked. I miss neon and big hair.

And welcome aboard the crazy train!

Crystal said...

you = awesome

i totally had a wonder woman outfit too!!! cept i wore mine with cowboy boots. fucking classy right?