Friday, August 31, 2007

Thank Corky, I'm back

I know you have all been wondering where I went. I was gone for like a week. No, I wasn't on vacation again. No, I wasn't packing. No, I wasn't having freaky deaky sex with my husband (the whole time, that is). I have just been busy with life in general.

Friday we went to the Re-commitment ceremony for our friends. I made the awesome lasagna, my friend Liz made the best ever Macaroni and Cheese, and the rest was catered. The lesson I learned that evening are this:
  1. Never let a 4 year old near a chocolate fountain UNLESS you are ready to put him directly into a bath afterwards OR if you want others to be able to use the same fountain. I'm not kidding, I was waiting for his little tongue to lap at the falling chocolate. It was cute, he was messy, and I didn't have to clean him up.
  2. Just because you drink all of the white wine doesn't automatically mean you should switch to red. I'm not a red wine drinker, it's too strong for me, plus I have an ulcer and red wine irritates it much more than the white does. BUT, because I like alcohol just as much as everyone else, I decided to drink about 3 bottles by MYSELF anyway. For the record, the wine glasses were honestly the size of shot glasses, so you could see how someone (mainly me) could lose track of how much wine they had consumed.
  3. Wearing kitten heals feels like skyscraper heals after a bottle (or more) of red wine. I have never been so clumsy. Thank goodness for my husband, he was the best crutch eva!
Saturday I woke up at 5:30 squashed into my good friends daughters bed. It is a cute double bed, but because it came from the Pottery Barn Kids catologue, I'm pretty sure a full grown woman isn't supposed to be too comfortable. Poor Jay had to sleep sideways so that he could stretch out. I went downstairs, drank A LOT of water. We finally went home, I dived into a freezing pool which woke my ass up and made me feel somewhat human again. Then the ulcer started acting up and I started puking blood. Yummy, huh.

But since my brother and sister-in-law were coming the next day, so I had to prepare potato salad for him and spinach dip for her. I bailed on the party that my friend was throwing that night so I could puke in peace and try and prepare for Sunday. We had our neighbors over for dinner instead, and I made meatloaf and mashed garlic cheese potatoes. She brought a great salad. And I made S'mores for dessert. Good times. When they left, we watched 300 (or Jay did while I tried to think of ways to calm my damn ulcer down and finally fell asleep).

Sunday my brother-in-law called to bail on us. FUCK. What the hell was I going to do with all that food I had prepared. Duh, eat it, I guess, but who needs that much potato salad? Not me (I finally tossed the rest yesterday). We took the kids swimming and then lounged around the rest of the day. I was still hurting, but I was trying to ignore it.

I did nothing on Monday but rest and spent some time on the phone with my pharmacist. What a worthless piece of shit Kaiser is. I called to get my prescription refilled and they had to consult with my doctor. But she wants to see me before she will approve a refill. See me for what? The same shit as before. So she can jam a piece of wood down my throat, push on my stomach, and then tell me, "Yes, Christie, you have an ulcer." and then charge me a $15 co-payment. Just so I can go next door to Ms. Stuck Up Pharmacist Bitch and get my damn prescription refilled for more money. I cannot be the only sane person in this great United States that wishes all Kaiser centers will burn to the motherfucking ground, right.

Tuesday I went at life full steam. I baby-sat for a friend from 9:30-11:30. Then went straight to work at the daycare from 12:00-3:00. I left my younger kids there while I went home to prepare for the 311 concert. I have to tell you, they were awesome. They opened with Love Song, which is OUR song, and Matisyahu made an appearance for it. It was great! We stopped at Popeye's Chicken on the way home and feasted like Kings and Queens. We also enjoyed my homemade cinnamon rolls.

But because I know you all missed me, I will give you a gift. A gift in the form of a recipe.

Spinach Dip
  1. 1 box frozen chopped spinach. Drained and pulled apart.
  2. 1 cup mayonaise
  3. 1 cup sour cream
  4. 1 packet Mrs. Grass Vegetable Soup mix (you can use Knorr but MGVS is way better)
Mix all ingredients together and chill for at least 1 hour before serving with French bread, veggies, or tortilla chips

I know that seems so easy, yet my sister-in-law refuses to take the recipe. I guess it is easier to have someone else do it than do it yourself.


Jenny! said...

I like to add waterchestnuts and red pepper to spinach dip...yummy!

I love red wine!

Sorry about your ulcer...that sucks big butt!

A chocolate fountain sounds gross to me...I dont like chocolate much!

honkeie2 said...

'Thank goodness for my husband, he was the best crutch eva'
I could have sworn you said 'crotch' instead of 'crutch'. But i must say my wife is the best crotch every.

captain corky said...

I'm glad you're back! I'm going to start wearing a bib when I come here. I love to eat and you love to make food. We'd be great together Christie. ;)

Christie said...

Jenny: Unfort. for hubby, he doesn't like waterchestnuts. Or else they would so be in there.

Honkie2: He is the best crotch around, hands down.

Corky: You can be my cyber-husband then. Too bad for you, you'll have to make all the food yourself. Jay got the better end of the deal, sorry.

blog Portland said...

I feel obliged to clarify for the masses your statement of "the rest was catered," because although it was indeed some tasty eats, take out from Olive Garden in no way constitutes catering.

Yoda said...

Ouch! That ulcer sounds like a nasty fucker! Take care, Christie.

The recipe sounds really good, I would like the water chest nuts too!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I'd like to jam my "wood" down your throat and let you taste my vanilla fountain!

Christie said...

McFatty: But you ate it. A LOT of it.

Yoda: Thank you, Doctor! Maybe you'll be the only doctor that actually listens to their patients.

Dyck: Of course you would. I'd still have room in my mouth, I'm used to a real mans wood, you know.

captain corky said...

Do I at least get some cyber sex out of the deal?

Michelle said...

You gotta love the pharmacist "consultation" Kaiser is famous for. Like they really think people are too stupid to read the label on the pill bottle so they need their "pharmacist" to read it to us like we are 4 year old?!?!

Hope you're feeling better now.

Beth said...

i love the line..."so I could puke in peace"....priceless.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Glad you're back! Mmmm... Spinach Dip. I may make this and eat it all. And then sit in my own judgement for the rest of the evening.

random moments said...

You rock! I was hoping you would share this spinach recipe you speak so fondly of. Yummo!

The chocolate fountain sounds like a fun time. I'm glad I've never been in the presence of one, who knows what I'd do!

Guilty Secret said...

Just because you drink all of the white wine doesn't automatically mean you should switch to red.

This is a lesson I really need to learn too.