Thursday, September 11, 2008

And to make my life a little more hectic

I'M SICK!!!!!!!!!! I'M FUCKING SICK. SORE THROAT. CHECK. PACKED SINUSES. CHECK. HEAD FEELS LIKE A BALLOON OR A BOULDER. CHECK. FEVER AT 101. CHECK.

Really? Do I need this shit? No. No I do not. Kenzie has her first day of co-op preschool today, and she can't go because I am supposed to stay with her. To be fair, she doens't care. She said she would take care of me with **paprika soup and Princess movies. She even said I could hold her blankey today, but I said I had Wooby so I would be fine.

We also found out yesterday that my Nanna most likely has uteran cancer. They are doing a full hysterectomy next week and then she will start radiation. She has already had breast cancer and was so close to 5 years of clean scans. Now this. She stopped chemo last time because it was killing her, she was so desperately sick the whole time. She said that she wanted to live the rest of her life in peace, and chemo was not letting her live. We supported her decision, but I have the feeling she will not do radiation because of how awful chemo was.

I also went to the genetic councelor yesterday, and after giving him the family history I know about, he stated what I had already guessed. My chances of getting breast and ovarian cancer are Very high. He suggested getting my Nanna tested first so we can find out what types of breast cancer run in our family, and then I would get mine. He said I more than likely carry it, and when the test confirms it, I would need to have a fully hysterectomy by age 35. I asked about a mystectomy, and he encouraged me to get that as well. Jay and I had already talked about this, and we decided that I would get it all taken off and out.

I have been in a daze since yesterday afternoon. A sick, sad daze. I am so terrified for my Nanna, I am very hopeful for her, but she is 78 and has been through so much already. I worry for my Poppa, who lives to love her. He is also 78, and this year had a stint put in his heart. He is pretty frail himself. I am sad for my whole family, who look to my grandparents for strength. I know we will rally together, like we did when Nanna had breast cancer. We were all in the hospital with her when she had her surgery.

I know you will understand if I am not around for awhile. I need to help out my family right now. I need to try and rest and get better, so I can help out my Nanna after surgery. I need to pray for strength.

5 comments:

AJ said...

already praying for you and for Nanna and for the whole family. Stay strong and as Angie says: Keep Believing. I'd send you a casserole if I could. ((HUGS))

Guilty Secret said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm thinking of you.

random moments said...

I'm thinking about you and putting you in my prayers over here. That's a lot to deal with emotionally, its good that you have J and those kiddos around to keep you lifted. (And US TOO! heehee)

Take the time you need. Its good that you seem so prepared for the future.

xoxo

Real Live Lesbian said...

You and your Nanna will be in my prayers. I'm so sorry.

Toryssa said...

Oh man. I'm sorry about your Nanna... I adore my Grandparents so much, I just can't imagine. I'll be thinking about you and yours.

Also, hysterectomy and mastectomy!? Holy shit. I heard a story about genetic testing on NPR recently, and it freaked me out. It's one thing to be aware of, and therefor be proactive... but just cutting out your bits just in case. Isn't that extreme? Be well, Christie!