I am sick and tired of car horns that don't sound like a car horn. What is wrong with BEEP BEEP? Why the need to make it sound like fiesta music? Really? Is it necessary?
If the speed limit sign says 55 mph, go fucking 55 MPH, douchbag! And if it says to go 45 around a curve, once you are around the curve, speed back up! How do some people pass driving tests or keep their licenses?
Hello, Mr. Trimet Bus Driver, I see you. I also know that there is NO FUCKING WAY I am letting you get in front of me so that you can go 10 miles under the speed limit and then pull over and block my lane of traffic. Beep your horn all you want to, it's still not going to happen.
Just because I am in a cranky mood, does not mean I am on my period. I am entitled to have a pissy day without a stupid man assuming I am on the rag. It happens. I don't ask you to jerk off the blue balls when you are cranky, do I?
If there isn't a law stating that garbage men cannot pick up economy sized garbage containers before 7:00 AM and bang them all around and then literally throw them on the ground, there damn well should be. Do garbage men turn to dust if they are out past 2 in the afternoon? Is it really necessary to start waking up the neighborhoods at 5 in the morning?
OK, men, if you have a blow dryer for yourself, you are gay. And that isn't a bad thing. But it is bad to stay in the closet when we all know the truth. I don't buy the old "I'm a metrosexual" crap. You are gay. Be proud and say it.
The next person that thinks they are being sneaky by using the shoulder to pass is going to get hit by yours truly. You suck dead mans balls and I cannot wait to move my piece of crap van over just enough that you hit it and total the fucker (but only if the kids aren't in the car, of course). Then I get a new car paid for by the asshat, and they get higher insurance rates, a ticket, and hopefully learn a valuable lesson.
When are my children going to learn that back-talking me is NEVER EVER EVER going to get them their way? Really, the sooner they learn this, the sooner I can quit grounding them. I am always going to win. ALWAYS. I don't care how valid their point is, arguing = losing in our house.
I hope that someone can figure out a way to pass a horrible disease through the computer to all the asshole spammers out there. I opened my e-mail today and had 75 G-Damn e-mails about getting bigger boobs, enlarging my significant others penis, lowering my mortgage rates, and all that other crap. And all from these shitty addresses like firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com. Wow, I wish I could have an email like that. Imagine the surprise on my Nanna's face if she got an email from firstname.lastname@example.org.
Yes, I support the troops that are stuck over in Iraq. I don't support the REASON they are over there. Let them come home to their families. If our moron president thinks we should have people there to baby-sit, then he should take his gun wielding friend, Dick Cheney, and head over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Ahhh, that took a huge weight off my shoulders.