Friday, January 4, 2008

Dog Parks Suck

Here is what I finally figured out today:

Dog Parks + White Dog = Very Fucking Dirty Dog

Charlie gets absolutely filthy when I take him to the dog park. I have gone to 3 different ones, trying to find one that he won't have to take a bath the minute we get home from, and so far, I'm 0 for 3. Today, he came home covered in paw prints, shit, grass, pine needles, and marker (yes, marker. My daughter is very creative, and thought Charlie would look pretty purple.). The minute we got home, I had to bathe him (again) which didn't make him happy. He stands there, big brown eyes staring at me, and shivers. And my heart just breaks a little. BUT I'll be damned if that dog is getting one paw on my white comforter or sheets. Let alone, the furniture.

And to make matters a little worse, I threw up on him a little. I'm not feeling great, obviously, and me and the kids all have a little stomach/cold thing going on. But I am a MOMMY and my job is to take the kids and dog places while I do things I am required to do. I am not allowed to call in sick. Hell, I'm barely allowed to be sick.

I am outta here. I still have to pick up a few things while the dog is "recovering" from his bath. I really just want to take a very hot bath, put on flannel jammies and go to bed. But since that is never going to happen, I will get started on my motherly duties.

12 comments:

M-M-M-Mishy said...

I've never puked on a dog, but I've been puked on by a dog. Oh wait, that was an ex-boyfriend.

Rhymes with Lames Runt.

random moments said...

Aww, you seriously need a nanny on call or something for a break sometimes. Get that hubby of yours to put the kids down while you soak your behind in the tub girl!

P.S. - We tried the dog park thing with Mini - not our thing. Too many baths needed and they pick up the strangest funk from other dogs. Bleh.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

You're complaining about dirt and markers on your dog...yet you're PUKING on him??! I'm calling the pet abuse hotline. What's the number?

Christie said...

Mishy: He is a puss-to-the-E! But it's free, so what they hey? Have fun!

Random: I'm thinking they aren't for us either, but I guess dogs need to learn to socialize with other dogs. Sounds pretty lame to me, but whatever.

Dyck: Um, I think it's 1-800-Dyckersonsucksonballs

Toryssa said...

I feel the mama doesn't get to be sick thing, and it SUCKS ASS.

Feel better!

Yoda said...

Hahaha, that's one puked on dog!

Guess where the term doggie bag comes from? LOL

Marcia said...

I have a lot of friends who are really anti-doggy parks. Especially for young, small dogs - the large dogs are too aggressive, the whole "leader of the pack" mentality, and the general craziness of the place. A lot of people even think that dog parks cause dogs to become overly aggressive. It's better just to take them to a park where they can be off-leash and play with your kids!

Christie said...

Yoda- Thanks. No more doggy bags for me.

Marcia- Unfortunately, there aren't any off-leash parks in Seattle that aren't dog parks. Your dog is required to be on the leash at all times at all parks, so I either take the risk of him running out of our backyard, or he goes and gets gross at the dog park. Luckily, he's not an aggressive dog, and never seems to follow the other dogs around.

captain corky said...

Hope you get a chance to rest. I think we're going to get a dog. And then my domestication will be complete.

Amanda said...

Dog Park+Charlie=lots of mud in our car. We took her for the first time on Saturday. :-)

Crystal said...

this mentally handicapped kid on the bus projectile vomitted on me three times in one year. after i got off the bus, i had to walk a quarter mile to my house covered in cafeteria pizza chunks. it was awesome.

dog park said...

it seems a nice,,,,,,,,,..........thanks!